An adult leans down, smiling at a child, inquiring, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

It’s a question we’ve all heard—and maybe asked ourselves. When I was young, it stressed me out. Like many children of immigrants, I had a “right” answer looming in my head before I could even think for myself: doctor. My dad always wanted me to be one, and I felt the weight of that expectation every time someone asked. I’d fumble through responses—Doctor? Teacher? Lawyer?—never quite sure if I was saying what I truly wanted or just what I thought would make others proud.

The truth is, while I journeyed along my career path as an adult, I still found that question stressful. To complicate things further, I continue to discover new career possibilities that didn’t exist even a decade ago. I still become unsettled when I think about this question.

And now I’ve finally figured out the source of my discomfort: The real question, the one that actually guides us, is not what we want to be but what *impact* we want to have.

Without this clarity of heart, it’s easy to stay busy without actually moving toward what matters most. You might take a promotion, pivot careers or say “yes” to opportunities that seem great on the surface—only to realize later that they don’t align with what truly fuels you and aligns with your core values.

Here’s the thing: There’s no single “right” path. But there is a difference between moving with intention and simply moving. When you have clarity about the impact you’re here to make, every decision—big or small—becomes more aligned, more intentional. You can trust your instincts more. You recognize when something is a distraction versus a step forward.

Those of us whose lived experiences don’t align with dominant cultural narratives often find this clarity even more clouded, as our desire for career “advancement” hinges upon our ability to navigate these cultural norms effectively; too often we give up parts of what make us most uniquely powerful–our own identities–to do so.

So, I invite you to pause and turn inward. Do you know what you truly want? What difference do you want to make, no matter the size? Not in terms of a role, but in terms of your calling, your contribution, your purpose. If the answer isn’t clear, that’s okay—clarity takes time. But it also requires attention.

Radical becoming starts with radical clarity. Take the time to listen to what your heart already knows. Take time to filter through cultural or familial expectations, messages that define “success” for you, and seductive pressures to hide or sacrifice who you truly are in exchange for more money, more responsibility, more notoriety doing work that does little to feed you. Because at the end of the day, what matters most?

And maybe the next time you meet a young person, you might ask a different question:
"What kind of difference do you want to make in the world, no matter how big or small?"

👉🏽 What’s one way you seek clarity in your life and work? How have you gained clarity? Let’s talk in the comments below.

*This Chinese proverb in the header image (xiōng yǒu chéng zhú) literally translates to: “chest has become bamboo.” This proverb refers to a 10th century Chinese artist whose deep familiarity with bamboo resulted in exceptional artworks resembling this common plant. People use this proverb to communicate a truth about clarity and confidence–that having clarity deep in one’s heart gives you confidence that results in the greatest success. Read more about this proverb here.

Yesterday, it hit me: 2025 is just two weeks away. As I reflected on the past 12 months, this Chinese proverb came to mind:
Yesterday, it hit me: 2025 is just two weeks away. As I reflected on the past 12 months, this Chinese proverb came to mind:

“Do not fear slow progress—only fear standing still.”

Too often, I slip into the familiar pattern of self-criticism, especially as a cisgender woman, a second-born child of immigrant parents, and someone who has often been on the margins. The expectations and double standards placed on us can make self-compassion difficult to cultivate. I know you've had these moments as well. But the truth is, progress is progress, no matter how slow it may feel — and it's worth celebrating.

So, I'm actively resisting the trap of self-doubt that can hold me back. I invite you to do the same. Progress, however small, moves us forward. And we've moved plenty in 2024. Let's celebrate!

Take a moment before next week to honor your journey. List what you HAVE accomplished this year, this week, even today. Instead of dwelling on what’s next, create a “done” list—and keep it in sight. Even better, share it here, so we can all celebrate you. Celebrate your wins, big or small, because every step forward is worth recognizing.

When you honor your growth, you set the stage for more.

Returning to our weekly routines can feel jarring and disorienting. Each year, I experience this swirl of emotions after returning from the National Association for Independent Schools’ Annual People of Color Conference. It’s a place of affirmation, celebration, nourishment, and inspiration—a space filled with joy and the profound relief of belonging. At the conference, we shed the masks we wear in a world that often forces us to fight for recognition of our talent, beauty, creativity, and brilliance. A coaching colleague once described it as our “homecoming,” and I couldn’t agree more.

Now back in the “real world,” I put on my “professional” costume—the version of myself tailored to be more easily accepted and legitimized by others. But this year, I return fortified. The conference offers a rare kind of nourishment, one that feeds the soul and fuels the courage to thrive while staying true to who I am.

I want to share a piece of that nourishment with you. Take three and a half minutes of your day to watch this powerful clip of Viola Davis on Hot Ones. It’s a small but impactful dose of inspiration—exactly the kind of fuel we need to keep showing up, authentically and unapologetically.